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Me fake sleeping in the car as a kid so I can get carried inside
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This man sent me an Apple Pay for lunch and said ‘go put something in your stomach until I can be in there’ I KNOW THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT! March 22 2022
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Person at the left lane who’s like I’ll go with the speed limit. They can pass me if they want. Starter pack:
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My toxic trait is thinking I can get ready in 10 minutes when I have repeatedly proven I can not
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Before you text that white woman back imagine yo kid in the future taking pics of you so they can say nigga on the internet
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As an “adult” I always forget that I can literally get in my car, buy a cake whenever I want and no one can stop me March 12 2022
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Her: “Babe can I thuck your Penith?” March 12 2022
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Me looking at my Man with eyes full of love and adoration even tho he can be stupid as fuck at times March 9 2022
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Can you sit in this barbershop for one hour and not laugh for 20 million